Written by
Ray Jansons

To me recovery means a brand new start
Like an actor, life has me playing a brand new part

It’s difficult getting used to this brand new life
When you’ve only been accustomed to mental torment and strife

To me recovery means feeling like a brand new person,
A person I’m getting to know
A confident person full of hope
With self-esteem well in tow

Recovery involves letting go of everything from my past
There are many things that I’ve learned to let go but
There are a few that seem to last

Recovery from mental illness can be
Exciting, but frightening to say the least,
For me there was great pain and suffering to go through
But all in all it made me strong
And now that I’ve rejoined the living once more
I know I can’t go wrong

For me recovery also means respect, admiration and yes,
Even a little envy
From the clubhouse, my family and peers
For I had been hiding under a web of mental illness
For all these years

Some people know of my story, for it was written in a book
In some ways, as therapy it released me from part of my pain,
It enabled me to take a look at life, a good, hard look

Recovery also means getting used to being
Around people again by developing social skills and
Mingling, with me filled with confidence
And full of hope, as I make new friends
For without friends, without people,
There is no hope for recovery, only isolation,
Which I have been so used too,
Thus the illness never ends

To me recovery from mental illness means hope for a new future
In writing perhaps, but who knows what my future will hold?
All I know is recovery has restored my confidence, faith and self-esteem
With me facing the future, facing life, with me feeling bold
(Well, in most situations anyway, but I’m working on it)

Recovery takes time, one step at a time,
There’s never full recovery right away
I find that there are still a few trials and tribulations that remain
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get through it all,
Even though it seems like I have,
Letting go of every little pain

You see I was diagnosed with General and Social Anxiety Disorders
And to function normally you just can’t, no matter how much you try,
Which leads to the problem, you don’t
But this time the will to fight
Was stronger then the will to give in

And sometimes I ask myself, why?
Why now and not back then?
But then something in my mirror tells me,
“ Eric, your lucky, because some never
get a chance like this my friend”

Every little detail, nook, and cranny is locked up in your mind, they refuse
To be let out
The anxiety attacks are the worst thing
They will not let you go
They try to bring you down, but yet you fight without a doubt
By letting your self take the full mental blow

Yes, full recovery takes some time as
I still suffer anxiety from many things
That have come out from the closet of my past,
But as I begin to lead a normal life again
On the road to recovery,
These bad things that I believe will last
Forever, I know in reality that eventually,
Away forever they shall be cast

There is hope for recovery from mental illness
Everyone’s diagnosis is different, even if the name is the same.
The symptoms may be different from each one of us.
So never give up that light that shines within and that
Awaits you during life’s ride on that hope filled bus
Carrying each one of you to a destination that’s unknown
But eventually you’ll soon realize that that destination is recovery,
Which turns out to be your brand new home.

That’s what Recovery means to me

June 17, 2004

Brief mention of article on “Perfection”: Related to recovery. Read a bit.

NOTE: Oh and by the way, recovery means one more thing, it means that you can also dream and dream big.

Here are some words from the late Elvis Presley, taken from his song: “If I Can Dream”

He said:

1. “So long as a man has the strength to dream, he can redeem his soul And fly.”

2. “There are strong winds of promise that will blow the doubt and fear”.

3. “If I can dream of a warmer sun where hope can fall on everyone.”

4. “Oh why can’t my dream come true----right now!”

Thanks Elvis for those words of encouragement.

I would also like to leave you now with one final quote from one of my favorite shows, the very popular RED GREEN SHOW. For those of you who are not familiar with the show, The Red Green Show takes place at Possum Lodge located in the fictional town of Possum Lake located in Northern Ontario.

The leader of the lodge is Red Green (played by actor, writer , and comedian, Steve Smith).

At the end of each episode, all of the lodge members gather together for their daily lodge meeting. Please note that everyone is apparently married in Possum Lake. Anyway, at the end of each episode, during their meeting, the members all bow their heads to say out loud, “THE MAN’S PRAYER”. Like I said, all of the members are married.

It goes like this: “I’M A MAN, BUT I CAN CHANGE, IF I HAVE TOO----I GUESS”

And that about sums it up.

Thank you and I wish you all good mental health.